Arriere Pensee

True Love (Short Story)

True Love

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene of ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water. We had a kid, I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school. Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life.

It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in herstream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her. Dew said, “You are the kind of man who best draws girl’s eyeballs.” Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife said “Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.” Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn’t help doing so.

I moved Dew’s hands aside and said, “You go to select some furniture, O.K.? I’ve got something to do in the company.” Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me. However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together or, I was lounging before the computer, visualising Dew’s body. This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slight joking way. “Suppose we divorce, what will you do?” She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn’t imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.

When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.

Once again, Dew said to me. “He Ning, divorce her, O.K.?” Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.

When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. “I’ve got something to tell you”. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want to divorce. I raised the serious topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, “Why?” I’m serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me. “You are not a man!” At that night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.

A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again. She brought up her divorce conditions. She didn’t want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month’s time before divorce, and in the month’s time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was simple. Our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn’t want him to see our marriage broken. She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, “He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?” This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, “I remember.” “You carried me in your arms.” She continued, “So, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning.” I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.

I told Dew about my wife’s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. “No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce.” She said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms.

She closed her eyes and said softly. “Let us start from today, don’t tell our son.” I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell thefragrance of her blouse. I realised that I hadn’t looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, “The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there.”

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualisation of Dew became vaguer.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be carefulwhile cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger.

I didn’t tell Dew about this.

I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, “It seems not difficult to carry you now.” She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, “All my dresses have grown fatter.” I smiled. But I suddenly realised that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger.

I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head. Our son came in at the moment. “Dad, it’s time to carry mum out.” He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, “Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old.” I held her tightly and said, “Both you and I didn’t notice that our life was lack of such intimacy.”

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, “Sorry, Dew, I won’t divorce. I’m serious.” She looked at me, astonished. Then she touched my forehead, “You got no fever.” I moved her hand off my head. “Sorry, Dew. I can only say sorry to you. I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of life, not because we didn’t love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.”

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into cry. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.

When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favourite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote. “I’ll carry you out every morning until we are old.”

The New fancy wardrobe of Youtube….

With the winter fast approaching YouTube has just gone shopping for a new look.  The rumours have been doing the rounds and there are lot of pictures of it on the Wide WEB. below are some of the Pictures of the new look.

The new look has not been officially launched, and as with any thing now a days that has not been officially launched there is always something that gives it away to everyone, i guess that is why they are called close guarded secrets

If the techminded in you want to experience the same this is what you need to do. Beware this is only possible for the tech savvy. so you need to be on Firefox or Chrome, no IE.

1. Go to Www.youtube.com 

2. If you are on Firefox by pressing [Ctrl + Shift + K].

   If you’re on Chrome, try [Ctrl + Shift + J]

3.You will get a window, this is called the developer tools window.  copy and paste this bit of code.     document.cookie=”VISITOR_INFO1_LIVE=ST1Ti53r4fU”;

4.Close the console, reload the site and experience new look YouTube for yourself.

Scientists Claim Neutrinos Are Faster Than Light

• Brian Greene, welcome.
• BRIAN GREENE: Thank you.
• RAZ: Okay, so the idea of that nothing travels faster than the speed of light, that obviously is part of Einstein's Theory of Relativity, this is a foundation of physics. These new experiments have truly rocked the scientific community. Explain why.
• GREENE: Well, no one anticipated that a particle could go faster than the speed of light. And, frankly, I should say at the outset, most physicists don't believe that any particle does go faster than the speed of light.
• RAZ: Still - they still don't believe it.
• GREENE: No, I mean these are very difficult experiments when you're trying to calculate the precise speed of this little ghostly particle called the neutrino. And many of us think that it will take an independent
• RAZ: Still? They still don't believe it?
• GREENE: ...than a gigabyte. No. I mean, these are very difficult experiments when you're trying to calculate the precise speed of this little ghostly particle called a neutrino. And many of us think that it will take an independent experiment, doing it a different way, getting the same answer before we believe it.
• RAZ: So you're one of those skeptics?
• GREENE: Hugely so.
• RAZ: All right.
• GREENE: And I think, if you were to do a survey of most physicists, we'd all pretty much say the same thing. An extraordinary result like this, in the words of Carl Sagan, requires extraordinary evidence and we don't have that extraordinary evidence yet.
• RAZ: Okay. Can you explain, first of all, what neutrinos actually are?
• GREENE: They're little, tiny particles of matter that are the most standoffish, if you will, of the particles that we know of. They can pass through trillions of miles of lead without being deflected, just pass right through. So they're ghostly particles that we require in order to make sense of data from particle accelerators around the world, to make sense of observations of astrophysical phenomenon.
• So we know that the neutrinos are certainly real, but their speed is what is at question here.
• RAZ: So these physicists at CERN, this lab in Switzerland - can you explain how they came to this conclusion that they have managed to send particles traveling faster than the speed of light?
• GREENE: In principle, it's quite straightforward. They take these particles and they fire them from Switzerland to another receptor at another laboratory in Gran Sasso in Italy. And what they do is they calculate how long it took the neutrinos to get there and they calculate how long the journey is and that's all you need to figure out speed.
• RAZ: So why all the skepticism if they've basically shown that it's faster?
• GREENE: Well, it's very hard to precisely measure the distance between two places. These particles are passing through the earth's crust, so it isn't as though you can just lay out a tape measurer...
• RAZ: Right.
• GREENE: ...from one location to the other. Moreover, you have to make sure that the clocks at the two positions where the particles begin and end, they must be synchronized to fantastic precision. You know, if someone runs a marathon and you're going to time how long it takes them, the clock at the finish line better be in synch with the clock at the starting line. And it's very hard to get clocks into sync.
• RAZ: If this is actually true, I mean, this could change the way you all and then, of course, we all, think about time and space, right?
• GREENE: Yes and no. So let me just point out that the idea that this would somehow throw Einstein out the window...
• RAZ: Right.
• GREENE: That's just not true.
• RAZ: Okay.
• GREENE: E equals MC squared will still be with us. All of the wonderful features of relativity will still be with us. We'll just have a more refined version of relativity to accommodate these results if they are true.
• RAZ: 'Cause you actually really want to believe this. You're not being a skeptic just to be difficult.
• GREENE: Well, we live for things which change our understanding of reality. And that's what being a physicist is all about, so we want this to be true, but we don't think it is. We're waiting for the proof.
• RAZ: That's Brian Greene. He's a professor of physics and mathematics at Columbia University, talking about experiments with neutrinos that may or may not prove they can travel faster than the speed of light. Brian Greene, thanks.
• GREENE: My pleasure.